ok, so forget about everything i said yesterday, it was pretty much all a lie. i wanted to stick to the 5-small-meals-a-day thing and be sort of healthy but as it turns out, i couldnt do it yesterday and i dont want to try.

the truth is, whenever im in a good mood i tell myself things like "im going to stick to a healthy diet plan, starving myself is bad!" and then someone says something negative to me and my whole opinion of myself changes. Like yesterday for example, i decided i was going to not starve myself or anything anymore, i was going to eat lots of small meals throughout the day to keep my metabolism going and stuff, but then i got called fat.

im pretty sure the person didnt mean it, she was just saying it because she was angry at me and wanted to hurt me in some way. so i managed to keep at the diet plan and i went and had dinner, but after dinner i was let down once again by someone who always manages to let me down. and so i got angry at him for saying hes going to do things when he never does. and then we got into this big fight over the phone and i ended up hanging up on him. then we didnt speak for the rest of the night because i have no credit left and he didnt bother to call back later or text me for some reason.

so i figured he must have had enough of me (he's my bf by the way) and i was annoyed at myself for the fact that he didnt want to see me and wasnt showing that he cared. it can only be my fault if he doesnt want to spend as much time with me as he used to, so ive got to fix that. and so ive stopped that silly diet plan thing, why not go all the way and just lose the weight instead of mucking around trying to be healthy.

no one wants a fat girlfriend.

im back to drinking heaps of green tea as well now, and i havent eaten since last night so that should do me well.

 

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Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Xanga... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"

My names sam, im female, living in Australia and willing to talk to anyone friendly :)